sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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