I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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