I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
