I love black thongs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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