Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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