hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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