can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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