Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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