I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
