Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
