don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
