why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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