2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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