my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
