every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize