the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
