I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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