it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
