afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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