Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize