her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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