Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
