ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
