she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize