I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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