her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
