bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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