I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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