All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
