So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
