we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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