Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
