Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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