dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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