Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
