I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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