I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
