Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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