Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
