Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
