Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
