I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
