I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
