I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can I color on your dick again?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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