i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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