please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
