What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
