I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
