she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
