you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
