Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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