i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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