So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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