I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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