I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
