I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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