YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize