Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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