If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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