is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
