Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
