She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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