Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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