I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
