super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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