Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Pants are for mortals
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
