Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
