i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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