Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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