Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
